this is me.

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower

and i guess it doesn’t matter what i am or pretend to be, cause it’s her you’ll always love and it’s her i’ll always envy.

so i go

crashed on the floor when i moved in, this little bungalow with some strange new friends. stay up too late, and i’m too thin. we promise each other it’s til the end. now we’re  spinning empty bottles it’s the five of us, with pretty eyed boys girls die to trust, i can’t resist the day, no i can’t resist the day.  jenny screams out and it’s no pose, cos when she dances she goes and goes, and beer through the nose on an inside joke, and i’m so excited i haven’t spoken. and she’s so pretty and she’s so sure, maybe i’m more clever than a girl like her. the summer’s all in bloom, the summer is ending soon. it’s alright, and it’s nice not to be so alone, but i hold on to secrets, in white houses. maybe i’m a little bit over my head, i come undone at the things he said, and he’s so funny in his bright red shirt, we were all in love and we all got hurt. i sneak into his cars cracked leather seat, the smell of gasoline in the summer heat, boy we’re going to way too fast, it’s all too sweet to last. it’s alright, and i put myself in his hands. but i hold on to your secrets, in white houses. love, or something ignites in my veins, and i pray it never fades, in white houses.  my first time, hard to explain. rush of blood, oh and a little bit of pain. on a cloudy day, well it’s more common than you’d think.
he’s
my
first
mistake.
maybe you were all faster than me, we gave eachother up so easily. these silly little wounds will never mend, i feel so far from where i’ve been. so i go, and i will not be back here again, i’m gone as the day is fading, on white houses. i lie, wrote my injuries all in the dust, in my heart it’s the five of us, in white houses. and you, maybe you’ll remember me. what i gave is yours to keep. in white houses.

i was nineteen

call me
call me
call me

you're my chorus, my refrain, the verse of my first pain

although i always said you chose the cowards way out, you never did claim to be brave

it's nothing new